Why we should stop telling our daughters they are pretty…

Last week I wrote a post about why we need to stop labeling our sons as flirts and heartbreakers. You can read it here.

Now I am doing a follow up post on why we should stop telling our daughters they are pretty.

I know… I sound like a harsh, abrasive mother, right?

Like, who wouldn’t want their daughter to know she is beautiful?

I get where you’re coming from…

and I agree.

But I think there is more to it.

Let me explain.

In simply telling our daughters how lovely their outward appearance is, we help coax them right into society’s hands. The same society that will inevitably wreak havoc on their self-esteem at some point in their lives.

The society that screams “you have nothing to offer besides your looks!”…

…that begs “don’t you dare go in public without your makeup on!”

The society that offers endless comparisons of who looks better; who has a firmer, tanner, more flawless body than her.

The society that will tell her the porn addiction was her fault for not “putting out” or the affair because she “let herself go” after her body performed a miracle and brought life into the world.

The society that tells her she is nothing more than a pretty face and doesn’t deserve to make as much money as her male counterpart.

I have no problem telling my daughter she is beautiful.

I try to remember to do so everyday.

But it comes after telling her that she is so compassionate and has a beautiful heart; that her brain is brilliant and her ideas are so creative and clever.

It comes after telling her she is strong and capable.

It comes after telling her that she is a woman of God and that she is a bold, courageous leader.

So yes, our daughters need to know they are beautiful because they are.

But more than they need to hear affirmation tied to fleeting looks, they need to hear they are worthy… because of who they are. 

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