No, I’m not a Christian who’s pro-choice.
Like many of you, I too am pro-life.
When voting, I also select candidates whose values are most in line with my beliefs – who don’t agree with murder of innocent lives.
I also happen to be a single mom.
A single mom who once was pressured to abort my own baby.
… a single mom who chose life.
… a single mom who is now painfully confused by your obnoxiously loud opinions.
You see, pro-life isn’t just a darkened circle on a ballot or a Saturday protest at the capital. If we are going to vote pro-life, it’s a longterm decision that we need to carry out until the day we die. If we are going to vote pro-life, we also need to be pro-birthed-babies and pro-single-moms.
Nine months later, give or take, that baby who your votes helped save, has needs that can no longer be met on the inside of his or her mother. Meaning, you’ll have to actually see him or her and society will be impacted by what type of person he or she becomes.
If you’re pro-life and I ask you what you’re doing to help the 12 million single-parent homes across America and you can’t answer me, your opinion on the topic needs to be kept private.
Voting pro-life requires follow through… that you’re often not following through on.
While you are quick to spread your political views, I’ve noticed you’re slow to action.
I’ve noticed as loud as you scream your opinion, you’re no where to be found when as a single mom, I struggle.
The fault in your logic is that pro-life isn’t just a decision, it’s a commitment.
It’s a lifelong commitment.
Please, keep voting pro-life. I’ll be doing the same.
But more than that, how about you step up?
How about you throw a baby shower for that young mom who chose life? Make it lavish. If you’re so passionately pro-life, you should be elated to celebrate her and her baby.
How about you open the doors of your couples group and invite the single-parents as well?
How about you make a commitment to pray for our children regularly and let us know, so we can tell you if there are specific prayer requests?
How about you make a commitment to have an open line of communication with us, so we can call if we need perspective or parenting advice – especially from the gender who represents the parent who is uninvolved in our child’s life?
How about you volunteer your husbands or older children to watch our kids while we attend the mom’s bible study, so we don’t have to go into debt for childcare to be there?
How about you give us a night every month that we can be childfree, while you take our kids out to do something fun?
How about you put your tithe money towards a local charity that supports single moms? Or pay for one of our kids to join an extracurricular activity that otherwise, they will likely be told they can’t be apart of because we can’t afford it?
How about you men, commit to take our sons out once a month and let them be rowdy, wild, little boys and help teach our teenage sons the life lessons they need from father-figures?
How about you men, take our girls on regular dates and set the standard of how she deserves to be treated by a man; so one day, maybe she too won’t end up as a single mom?
How about you families invite us to share holidays with you, so we aren’t sitting home alone like we might otherwise be? Instead of it being a 1 time invitation, extended out of your emotion from the season in the moment, let it be after you’ve already established a relationship with us over time. That saves you, me and our kids the awkwardness of spending a special day with people we barley know… people who we likely won’t hear from until they need their next charity project.
How about instead of assuming we would be apart of your world if we cared, try to get into our world? It’s exhausting being both mom and dad full-time. Not only is it exhausting, it’s not possible. There are tons of holes breaking through the moat and we are constantly making decisions about which part of our lives can drown while we tend to another area. Part of our world is always suffocating.
And don’t even get me started on fianances. If you and your spouse both work full-time to support your household, where is your logic in how single moms can adequately provide for their children? Especially when fathers are often absent and skip town or quit their job to avoid paying court ordered child support? Maybe that’s why we can’t attend your baby shower or our child attend your kids birthday party…we’d have to pay for the gifts on top of paying for a sitter. If our card just declined as we were trying to buy groceries for the week, your baby shower isn’t top priority.
Most of us, are at max-capacity 24/7. If single-parents and their children’s physical, spiritual, mental and emotional needs had currency, most would be in debt for the rest of our lives. Our debt would have debt.
There are too many needs and alone, us single-parents can’t meet them all.
That’s why we need you.
We need you to do more than just shade in the circle on your ballet.
We need you to do more than share your political views on social media.
We need you to make a commitment to support us and our children, longterm.
If that’s too much work, if it’s not your problem, then keep your opinions about our uteruses to yourself.
Yes, keep voting pro-life. But quit making it public.
If you were passionate about pro-life, you would be passionate about those lives from the beginning to the end.
The single moms and children
everywhere that you’re failing